Mom's Eulogy

Saturday, 11/6/2010 1:00 p.m. - this was the Eulogy given at CC Hughes Memorial Service by her daughter Linda Hughes held at the Pacifica Community Center.

Welcome - Thank you all so much for coming today, on behalf of the family, we truly appreciate you being here. Man could she fill a room! [there were over 120 in attendance] I see so many people that she loved and loved her.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY - While going thru mom’s belongs we found this 4 page autobiography she had written ( in her own hand) , not one of her typical Danielle Steel Novels but I wanted to quote … in her own words…
“ I was born in Princeville Ill, March 12, 1922, COLLEEN CATHERINE CULLEN.
My brother Frank and I lived with mother and grandparents in a big house with lots of stairs. Mothers Sister Dorothy was 9 years younger then mother and I was 9 years younger then she. My father Howard Cullen left us when I was very small. Mom married Floyd Hill when I was 7 … he was a great father for Frank and I . He was editor of the weekly newspaper, mother worked in office and frank and I worked there too.. I had a happy life all thru 12 years school, lots of friends and very active in sports and served as class officers, school paper, class plays, to summer girl scout camps. After HS Graduation attended Dickenson College of Business, first job was as inventory clerk @ Montgomery Ward in Peoria.”

Anyway, you can see she had STONG and Long ROOTS in ILLINOIS . Her paternal and maternal ancestors , the Harrisons and Kelly’s came to US in the early 1800’s from Ireland.

She made so many lifelong friends there, Glady Rose, Conly & Butchie .. who are having a mass said at the local Catholic Church in her home town today so they can all be united on this special day. She attended Princeville High School and she played the Bass Drum her nickname was Tiny … she “kept the beat” and always told the story of a march over a bridge , and it started to sway and buckle with the weight of the band , and how she saved the day when the leader yelled back “ Pick up the Beat” – Pick up the Beat”.

MILITARY She joined the service in 1944 @ 22 years of age after a class mate of hers was killed in Pearl Harbor on the USS Arizona. She served in Georgia as the morning report clerk and her job was to assign an airplane to the service men when they were being shipped overseas. Since she knew who would be shipping out she and her friends would make sure those fellas got some special attention before they left. And She could keep a SECRET (except she would write everything down in here diaries) ….Dennis our “New Brother” can attest to that. Dennis found us 9 years ago, when his adoption records were opened . Mom’s last years were made pretty special for her and he made fast work of the lost time and a tight bond with her and his new family. Every Sunday when the phone rang… I’d say to mom, that’s Dennis and she would say “ HOW DID YOU KNOW” ?

ROLPH STREET After the service she had a short stay in Arizona where her parents had moved then she moved to SF - met our father John W. Hughes thru her best friend Glad’s husband Walt Liebig. Said it was “love at first sight” according to her autobiography. They were married in 1949. Lived on Rolph Street in SF , where they met life long friends, the Russells and the Hausers…. SAY IT WITH ME, Rolph…“She used to change my diapers”

PACIFICA NEIHBORHOOD PARTY / BOATCLUB Moved to Pacifica in ‘55 –. My fathers parents (Nana and Bumpers) lived on Linda Mar Blvd in “Pedro Valley” on the main drag” … “ Mom said she loved her in laws but did not want to live too close to them so mom and dad bought the house up on the hill on Serena for an extra $2,000 so she would have a view - and she called it “my view, “my ocean” - she would always make sure visitors got out to see it - mom loved the house and the new neighborhood and all the great neighbors, the Rawlings, Whitcombs, Burgharts. It was a wonderful place to raise us kids So you can imagine mom’s surprise when nana called up and commented about “her” view…. “oh I see you and Jackie were up late last night” Cause Nana could see right into our living room.
We were always the hub for the large family gatherings especially on the Hughes side… too many nieces and nephews to mention ( but she loved them all ) and the neighborhood gathering… She was the best hostess ! We had great spaghetti feeds, BBQ’s Fish frys, Bridge Games – always a party on the block and always everyone invited.

PACIFICA BOATING CLUB
In the early 60’s We were members of the Pacifica Boating Club and we headed to the lakes and Delta every summer, and there were dances and crab chapino dinners and parties… we meet so many great families, Tompkins, Garnetts, Egigians . Mom was always the kids activity commander - so everyone loved her and the games we played, eggtoss, 3 legged races, treasure hunts. That is where we all learned our love for camping and the outdoors.

GENEROUS - she always opened her heart and her home to anyone who needed a place to stay or was in transition or going to school - I was counting on my fingers, toes and more of all the people to lived under her roof. (Jen, Heather, Uncle Stan, Chuck Finnie, John, Kathy Tompkins) … she even let neighborhood husbands who might have been in the dog house for a couple of days stay with us -

GIVING And she would give you the shirt off her back or even things that didn’t belong to her … like when Dennis mentioned “Mom gave me ‘her’ Beatle Albums collection” .... Wrong generation Denny THOSE WERE MINE - I got them back… cause I’m not that Generous.


PHOENIX
In the mid 70’s Mom moved to Phoenix after her father died to help Grandma Hill, You would have to schedule your time with them if you went to visit . Cindy, John and Rick (Franks kids) spent lots of time down there with the two of them. You would have to book early especially during Spring training, Am I right? Jerry Hipps, and Scott Buskey. She just loved entertaining and cooking for everyone and swapping recipes….

She had a great 20 years with the Westefers and Dawson’s watching Loren and Kelli grow up - They called her CC… Plenty of Bridge games, and ASU football, Shopping, Degrazia, Tourguois jewelery and making collages – but every summer she would head back to the fog to cool off.

BACK TO PACIFICA
When Mitch started school Mom and Granny came back to Pacifica in the early 90’s…they would get him off to school each day and the 4 generations lived under one roof which was amazing. Candi was right around the corner and Gary and his family just a short trip away. She cherished her grandchildren, Heather, Michael, Kristen and Mitch. She was always FAIR AND TREATED EVERYONE equally, But she did finally admit to me “ when no one else was around” and I feel I can tell you this now! that “Mitch really was her favorite” “And Mom always liked me best”

She was the most CARING of people. She never spoke harshly of anyone, no matter how hard I tried - She gave Joanna a run for the money when it came to being upbeat and POSITIVE ….. AND She was so TRUSTING Do you know it took us years to finally convinced her the O.J. DID IT!

GARAGE SALES
After Granny Hill passed in 2001, and mom’s shopping habits could not be sustained by her SS Check, mom perfected the art of garage saling… Candi might take her out on a Friday and unbeknownst to me, then she would have me hit the same sales on Saturday. She was quite a collector as you can tell by the centerpieces today. She would find a chair to sit in at a Sale and sit for quite some time, just visiting with the homeowner, and other patrons sharing stories and tales. And invariably they would sell her the chair she was sitting in ….$5 this is the last one she brought home and it STAYED in the GARAGE. [ I brought it to the stage and set up a collage table so everyone could find their picture and add it to the “last collage” – then we donated it to the community center]

COLLAGES
She and Mitch spend most every day together but when she found herself with alone time.she was making and remaking photo collages. I’m sure each of you probably has one already, but walk around the room today and you will see there are plenty to share if you haven’t got one already - Please Please perhaps you could give one a good home –

We thought it a fitting tribute to set up a table for the “the Last Collage” Each of you are invited to find our photo or one of your loved ones and paste it on. If you can’t find a photo then just sign you name and when I find one at home we’ll complete it.

MEDICAL FINAL DAYS
She had many a medical scare in the last 10 years and has fought cronic back pain for longer than that. She got such great care from “Her Doctor” as she calls Dave from Arizona. And most recently from the VA Medical Centers here in San Bruno and SF. When she was diagnosed in Nov 2008 with Lymphoma, it was just another battle and she did what she could with the Chemo which did give her two extra years, and she made the most of it. But she always put up a good front, always a smile on her face. We had so many visits from Family, friends and neighbors (Connie brought her coffee every day for years) Everyone, meant so much to her. She loved the many phone calls, the calls from Michael “ Hi GRANDMA” Saturday a.m. from “my brother” as she would call Frank, the Sunday calls from Dennis, the several times a week calls from Glady Rose – sometimes they would only last a minute or so… just long enough to say they loved each other. Everyone was so attentive these last two years - We can’t thank you enough

And this year she became a great grandmother – Twice. I hope they can get to know her thru the internet blog some day when they get older.

When we went into the hospital after Labor Day weekend after she had a shortness of breath episode …She did not “Flirt” with the gorgeous young Doctor, as she always did, so I knew she was feeling really bad. They sent us home with home with hospice, all we could do was make her comfortable as the cancer had traveled to her lungs. So we did and all the family gathered and we were all with her.

Funny story…..I was in the kitchen, Gary at her “hospital bedside” in the living room, I heard her say “Raise me up, Raise me up and I ran over and said… “ Gary she’s talking to the Lord” - he said “no”! she said “I’m in pain” she wants me to adjust bed.
– But I believe she was talking to the Lord.

After she had passed Heather simply stated… “It’s the circle of life, so now it’s time for a new baby” I let her know… “ she was not to consummate that night under your Grandmothers roof”

The TREASURERS SHE LEAVES US…. Think back to the true treasures she has left us…

Gary, got her love of entertaining and packing skills - remember how she would have you get up in the very bow of the boat to fill it with her “camping hats” and everything else dad said she could not take… and how he had such a hard time getting that boat up the long steep grades “ why is it dragging so? What did you pack in there?”

Candi got her love of music and dance; her name “Colleen” and her sweetness - that’s why we gave her the nickname Candi and the fact that mom did not want to be know as “Big Colleen”

I got her love of books, ( grant they are mostly cookbooks lately, all her recipes ) and a pretty good sense of Humor.

Dennis got her Kind and Gentle nature, her Wit and big ears ( thank the lord for sparing me those)

And finally she left us with ….the many many treasurers of good friends and a great family ….

So when you leave today, we ask that you take one, or two or three of her little trinkets, her little treasuers from the center pieces, put it on a shelf, or in a drawer . and when you run across it you will think of her and how she enriched your life.

"The Wind Beneath Her Wings"

Thursday, October 7.
I woke up every morning this week wondering how to start this entry and there on the nightstand was a bookmark... "A mom's love is with us from the beginning, and yet it is only with the passing of the years-- as we grow and experience life-- that we realize how much goes into that love... Thanks, Mom for your love."

Thursday of last week we all sat vigil at mom's bedside. She was waiting for Candi to come up and for Frank to come in from back east. Football games were on the TV all day, she would have loved that! Someone was always at her side. The hospice nurse, Peter had come in earlier that day, and Maureen, the social worker, was here earlier as well and gave us courage, understanding and support - I found her very comforting.

There was such a noise overload during the day, after dinner, Frank and Candi had gone, the TV got turned down and a peace, calm came over the room. I think we all stayed awake till 11 or so, I let mom know that everyone had come to visit today and that everyone loved her and we would all be fine, if she needed to go. I went to my room and got out Grannys little pocket prayer book and read until after midnight or so. Then Gary called us all together @ 1:15 a.m. so we could all be with mom when she passed.

Heather, Matt & Aiden all left on Friday afternoon, it was so wonderful they were all here. Saturday a.m. I took the dog for a walk to the beach as friends were kayaking around the harbor "Paddle for the Cure" - Gary met me down there at 8:30 and we went to Pedro Point, Tides for breakfast... he wanted to hit Denny's but we have better restaurants. Mitch, Gary and I just kind of wandered around the house that day. I had some friends from High School (Linda Cap and Shelly) come over for a cocktail and we went out and ended up at Nicks for Crab Louies (mom's favorite restaurant - so appropriate). Gary headed home Saturday early evening and I got home for Mitch @ 9:00 - By Sunday I realized I needed time and although the thought was to throw myself back into work - I could not focus or concentrate well, so decided to take another week and I'm glad I did. It helps to start preparing for her memorial service (Pacifica Community Center, Saturday, November 6 @ 2:00)

Mitch and I have been together each day helping each other and doing what we each need to do to move forward. I asked him yesterday morning, as I fixed and served him breakfast, are you ready to be "smothered, since I don't have anyone to care for any more" but we both agree that it is time to take care of me. So for now, my comfort is organizing and going thru all of mom's treasurers... the ones she would not part with. I've tried to take a daily trip to Candi's and share with her many of the cards and flowers that have come in and bring her a few momentos or things of mom's that she could use.

I have made some progress in sorting thru all of Mom's things ( really just a dent) mostly got all the pictures in one place ... but have run across lots of little papers/article clippings, sayings, in wallets, drawers, cubbies, in with her pictures ... I will keep all the little sayings or stories of interest and pass them along as they will help me and perhaps help you since they meant enough to her to hang on to them and words to live by.

I find myself wondering, did I say enough, do enough, explain enough... but then I think... we had a life time together, (my lifetime and she shared so much of hers with all of us) ... it was enough and I'm so happy she is now at peace and out of pain and with all those who had gone before (plenty of good company up there).

So today I write from one of the clippings I ran across.

MAY YOU HAVE...

Enough happiness to keep you sweet.
Enough trials to keep you strong.
Enough sorrow to keep you human.
Enough hope to keep you happy.
Enough failure to keep you humble.
Enough success to keep you eager.
Enough friends to give you comfort.
Enough wealth to meet your needs.
Enough enthusiasm to look forward.
Enough faith to banish depression.
Enough determination to make each day better than yesterday.

--Anonymous

Thursday Morn

It is the wee hours of the morning. Gary stayed by mom's bedside all night. Her breathing is very shallow and it won't be long now. Mitchell and I sat vigil with her all day yesterday. Ami came and gave her a sponge bath, back rub and was so loving and caring as she has been for the past year. Michael Called, Frank will come in today. Heather, Matt and Aiden came up last night (he was the brightest part of the day and is the cutest with his dimpled smile, just like his mom). Jen came over in the evening to check in as she had the night before to make sure mom was comfortable. Joe F came over also as he had the night before. We are all so grateful for the help and love everyone has shared. Gary will go down to Candy's today. He has been one of the rocks and it is perfect that he is here now.

Mom will soon be out of her pain, which she fought for so many years. So for that we are thankful. She is the best.

Fog Fest Weekend

Sunday afternoon, Joe, Mom and Mitch in his FogFest - Lady Washington promotional outfit.

Joe, with the best seat in the house! Remind me to remove that for the next visitors

Kristen and big girl Kylie, stand and play for Great Grandma CC.

Collette, Ashley and Darrin came over for a visit.

Darrin and Kylie play while Grandpa Gar looks on.

Thanks for all the calls and support this week and weekend. Gary and Joanna, Kristen and Kylie came up on Saturday night so that was great to have them to bounce off of. Even for just 24 hours, we made the most of it and was good to talk and be around the youngens. Mom drinking smoothies, couple times a day... so got lots of fruits and veggies. She was awake for just about every visitor. Sleeps most of the day. Both her feet are swollen, perhaps too much sitting up today. Adjusted the bed so hopefully will be better in a.m. I missed seeing Elaine, Spencer and Cameron but know Mitch did a good job playing host!. Mitch took my Fog Fest shift at the Wine booth for Mizpah on Saturday and I got in my block captain obligation for a couple of hours Sunday. Joe planning on coming back Friday evening to give us a break and Cindy will come down the following weekend. Heather, Matt and Aiden coming up next weekend. Well is late Sunday night so will end this now and catch up with everyone later.

Mitchell's Home

Mom slept thru the night, maybe cause Mitch got home yesterday! Hospice social worker comes today to talk with all of us. Wednesday, Ami came from Professional Healthcare at Home, she has been taking care of mom for a year, I think, and yesterday was the first day I met her... she has done a great job and I got to watch her tender and caring ways yesterday. She is awesome, I hope I can do as well in the coming days/weeks.


She can at least get a smile out of mom. She will still come every Wed thru the VA Respite program which helps out 180 hours a year. We used up all hours last year and have another 180 hours available to us come October 1st.

I should have put a picture up of Mitch and all his grunge - he put in alot of hard work this summer, we are sure glad he is back. Said he want's to clean out his room now... my little boy is growing up!

Happy Birthday Michael - 27 yrs old today

Here is an old pic of you two from 2008... thanks for calling yesterday Michael, she was happy to hear from you. Yesterday mom had a visit from Etta and Joan and got a crab sandwich from Nicks She ate about quarter and the girls were happy she did. She was up for a couple of hours for the visit... took a good nap and then up to visit with Bobby for an hour before his bowling at the Sea Bowl on Monday Nights. Got a Call from Frank who got to say hi in the early evening before she settled in for the night.

Tuesday morning she was awake at 4 a.m. so got her some meds and back to bed until 8 a.m. She was napping most of the day but finally at 4 pm started to complain of pain so gave her the medication for the night and hopefully she will get a good nights sleep. Got calls today from Cindy and Nancy so always good to hear from them. Joe will be in CA next week, he will squeeze in a visit. Nancy and the Dawsons heading to TX for a home game with Coach Dawson and family... should be a great time.

Jones has an ear infection, he will be off to the Vet Thursday, one of Mitch's first duties upon his return tomorrow night from summer job at Camp Mather... mom has been asking for him and waiting for him to return. Thursday at 11 the hospice social worker will come in and talk with Mitch and I and Mom to help with questions and the process. Gary will be up on Saturday afternoon early evening after his birthday celebration at the Fresno Zoo with his two new grandchildren and all his family... Hope to see lots of pictures.



And look who I caught snacking on the neighbors plants and lawn this afternoon ... our neighborhood pets, Larry, Moe and Curly. Glad it was his yard and not mine, however, they probably already know I have a lot of artifical flowers and Jones keeps them away as well.

New View

Mom's new view from her living room bedside... added a few flowers, now all we need is a sunny day... maybe next weekend at the FogFest.

Here is my peddlerfaire $10 birdcage, all painted and filled with flowers. Bonnie and Dennis thought I was nuts! - not so crazy now !
Jones can't wait to pee on those flowers! He keeps sniffing them.
I got banged last week by a run away blue dumpster that was rolling straight at me, head on... I swerved into the parking garage in the alley but it clipped me. Building office said they would look at the security tapes as the janitor had given the dumpster a good running start so he could get it up over the curb... he did not have control of it and that seems to be how he does it... I told bldg mgr he either needs a spotter or some cones to stop traffic... waiting to hear back as to how they will settle, but I will get an estimate on repairs and send in my letter later in the week.

Mitch coming home on Wed... mom and I both happy about that. Maybe the car estimate will be Mitch's first duty... I have a short list of him - but he loves to be needed.